I have been a mil-spouse since April of 2018. My husband and I tied the knot in October of 2015 without a clue of where his career would lead us. At that time, he had been working as a car salesman and I worked in a retail job I detested. We were young when we got married, 20 and 21. Our life was still unfolding, and it took a turn I never dreamed it would. Toward the end of 2016, my husband began looking into joining the Air Force. The topic began to arise like clockwork, every two months. In the beginning, I couldn’t help but let all sorts of questions and concerns pop up in my mind. Would he be safe? Would BMT and tech school change him as a person? How would our marriage weather the distance? Would we have to move? How often would he get deployed, and for how long?
I read blog after blog and article after article about the military life. Some comforted me and some, well, sent me into a bit of anxiety. My husband would tell me to stop reading and take a breather. One step at a time, he reminded me. To be honest, before we finally started the recruitment process I was hesitant on whether this was a good career move. Heck, there were even a few times during his BMT that I wondered if we had made a wrong step. But, I saw the look in his eyes that this truly was what he wanted to do. I couldn’t hold him back because of my fears. So here we are, in our ninth month of this journey.
I remember my first trip to see my husband while he was in tech school. It was the end of the weekend, we had said our goodbyes the day before I flew home. I was sitting in this microscopic airport somewhere in Texas waiting for my plane. From the airport I could see the squadron buildings and new amongst those brick buildings was my husband’s squadron. It took everything in me to not have a complete break down right then and there. I felt as if I were leaving half of myself behind. I couldn’t hold the tears back for much longer, so I flipped my sunglasses down over my eyes and slumped back in the very uncomfortable plastic airport seat. I let the tears flow, and I accepted the fact that I knew from the beginning this wouldn’t always be fun.
After a few minutes of my ugly airport meltdown, another mil-spouse turned around to see if I was alright. We swapped stories, she told me she had her melt down in the Uber over here and that it was ok to cry. There was a comfort knowing that another person knew what I was going through. So here is a shout out to all those military spouses I have met while traveling to see my husband; you helped me more than I think you realize, and I thank you for that.
I created Letters to a Military Spouse because I have the desire to document my military life journey. I am passionate about writing, so it seemed like the perfect outlet to help other spouses who may be going through the same emotions. I found through this adventure so far that only another mil-spouse can truly understand what you go through in this crazy life.